I’ve been working on a story about loss. The story is going well, I think I’m getting good words on the page. But in order to find the words I want, I’m going back into memories that bring up a lot of sadness.
Yesterday, I finished a really good revision. The story is close. Very close. And writing it brought me close to tears. So I did what I always do when I need to remind myself that life is also a part of death. I took a walk.
“C’mon, world. Make me feel better. Make me remember joy,” I said.
The day was grey, but not so wet I needed to wear rain gear. Cola, as always, was thrilled to go and immediately found a stick, found a puddle, found a gopher hole. A dog is a good companion when you are looking for joy.
As I walked, the sun began to peek below the clouds. The tops of the bare trees became gold. Light seeped around the edges.
“Nice, world,” I said. “Thanks.”
And then I turned the corner.
And cried. And laughed. And cried some more.
Because I asked for a reminder that life is good and I get this. The most amazing fucking light show I could imagine, complete with a sprinkle of rain on my upturned face like tears from heaven.
I always feel better when I get off my butt and take a walk. But this? This was ridiculously healing.
Peace and love,